05.24.13-Day 1
Luke 10:36-37
36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
Luke 11:9-10
9 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
10 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Luke 11:41
41 But now as for what is inside you—be generous to the poor, and everything will be clean for you.
I gave a homeless person a dollar just before I got here to the bookstore. I saw her coming up to me and I knew what was going to happen before it even went down. She asked for 50 cents. I only had a dollar. So I gave it to her. She said “even better”. Then she went on about how she needed to get back home so she could take her prenatal medications. And how she was sick and dry heaving. And how instead she usually throws up in the morning and that it. And how she slept behind the McDonalds last night because she was too tired to get home. And once she got home now, thanks to my dollar, she was gonna take her meds and then force her boyfriend to cuddle up with her. Thanks to me.
I hate bums less now than I used to. When you first move to a place that has homeless in plain view and asking for money, it’s cool and novel. You’re even apt to take up a chat with one, find out what its like with no roof over your head. Then you realize these people have nothing to offer you more than some convoluted story about how they got to where they were. And you give less time to them. And you feign interest. And pretend you don’t have any money when you actually do. And then you just flat out ignore them and walk on by.
I gave this homeless woman my money. I don’t even have a job myself. I’m surviving on unemployment while I go to school. Am I loco to give away cash I don’t even have?
Most times I don’t even have a lick of compassion for the downtrodden. Honestly I’m just a step above being a bum myself. I’m below the poverty line. I manage to come up with my half of the rent somehow. So at least I sleep indoors.
I’m a slave to my stuff. Typing this on a MacBook. Drinking an iced white chocolate mocha. I’m in school, ultimately for nursing, then nurse anesthetist.
This ten day challenge is part of my religion class. Jesus and contemporary society. I’m to journal out my concerns to God. Write down areas that are hard for me to trust Him in.
And that vagrant walked up to me just in time to get written about.
I don’t condemn the homeless anymore. I don’t say it’s their own fault. But I’m not completely compassionate either. And I only give em a dollar because I feel like I should. And not all the time. They have to catch me in a mood. I give to them without expectation, but I still sigh to myself and hope they don’t give me some blah blah blah about how this or that happened and now they need to catch the bus.
I told this one to pay it forward. It’s what I usually say. But I think I say it to make me feel better somehow.
This is a concern I have for God. I’m supposed to give to my brothers simply because they have asked of me. But sometimes I don’t want to.
